Qfinder: A Blast From the Past

In retrospect, it should’ve been obvious that Soviet Union would never work. There were so many red flags.

But if there’s one thing that all ex-citizens of ex-USSR feel nostalgia for, it’s Soviet queues. Hours-long, miles-deep queues, where you could spend your time socializing, engaging in small talk or even networking.

Sadly, nowadays queues are much faster, leaving no time for finer things in life, and we at Qminder admit to having contributed to this. (We’re sorry!)

To make up for our past blunders, we introduce you to Qfinder — a tool that Marx a new beginning for the customer service industry, and warps you back, Terminator-style, to the times when the days were long and queues even longer.

We’ve got a lot to cover, comrade, so let’s dive deep!

In Soviet Russia, the queue finds you

Qfinder is the latest addition to the Qminder family of products. What does Qfinder do?

In a few words, Qfinder scans the nearby area for the longest-stretching queues for you to join. Adults can relive their teenage years spent standing in queues for a loaf of bread, and kids can finally experience what it was like to live in the fairest society in the history of mankind. (Citation needed)

For Qfinder to work its magic, you need to let the app access your location data and have location services turned on. The information you provide will not be used against you, unless you are a member of a Trotskyist terrorist cell.

(Whether you are an enemy of the people will be decided in closed court proceedings.)

The app will alert you once it finds the queue that matches your requirements within the area that you specified. You will then have the option to join the queue, or continue looking for other waiting line opportunities.

The interface is intuitive, taking cues from the best examples of socialist realism.

Powerful as a hammer, sharp as a sickle

Like a Soviet tank, Qfinder is equipped with powerful capabilities. Our new app gives you the ability to:

• Learn the queue length: in kilometers, miles, hours, or queue-standers.
• Save favorite queues to a list: access your queue history and relive the best experiences.
• Recommend queues to others: the more, the merrier; don’t keep the most enjoyable lines to yourself!

Queuing is a collective activity. After all, you can’t spell “queues” without “us”.

With Qfinder, you can share your favorite queues with friends, family and loved ones. “A smile shared is a smile doubled”, and what Soviet experience is complete without sharing?

Qfinder can be connected to your Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn accounts. Spread the word with a one-click, one-size-fits-all customized message.

Just be sure not to share anything incriminating. We will not be able to help you otherwise.

Quit Stalin, get Qfinder now

Want to get access to a 14-day free trial? Send us a quick letter at aprilfools@qminder.com, and we’ll gladly work out a deal.